Kids, if you insist on keeping him(1), then I insist on these conditions:
1. There will be no ingestible toys, ornaments, or other knicknacks left lying around our living areas. Ever. Period.(2)
2. When we are away, you will arrange and pay for a cat sitter to come in and dole his food out in small portions(3), not less than twice a day. Can't arrange that? We stay home.
3. Paper towels come out of your allowance. Unless you'd prefer to launder rags, and not in a small extra load, either. Save water, do them in with your clothes. Got that? YOUR clothes.
Am I being mean? Well, I suppose I could just walk in, look at the floor, and walk out again. Go stay with Mom and Dad until the kids get home and do the cleanup themselves. Yes, I know, Ruth, you did the cleanup once. I prefer not to remember such tasks, let alone count the number of times I do them, but I'm sure I'm way up on you.
Ah, well. I don't think the kids read my blog, and by the time they get home, well, I might not say anything. Like I said, I prefer not to remember such tasks.
Happy New Year everyone!
(1) The link is intended to refer to the creature in the illustration, not to the guy discussed in the text of the post. Him I'll keep, even if I do have to clean up after him sometimes.
(2) For you animal rights folks: we'll be going to the vet next week to rule out any unsuspected causes, or any lasting damage from the attempt to digest a Lego wheel.
(3) Umm, Dad, if he hasn't eaten in a while, give him just a little to tide him over. How do I know it was you? Mom wouldn't leave her muddy tracks across the kitchen. Unless that was me before I left? Like father, like daughter. . .
you can't eat it
2 weeks ago