Sunday, June 11, 2006

Mostly Vegetative

I am a

What Flower
Are You?

You have a shy personality. You tend to hesitate before trying new things or meeting new people. But once people get to know you, you open up and show the world what you are really all about.

It's a long time since I posted. I had lots of ideas, but they all stirred up insecurities about who I am and what my life is about. It doesn't help that I had a big argument with Garth, in which he rather sensationally declared that my attitude had nearly torn our family apart. (He took that back, sort of). It doesn't help that I've been making arrangements to finalize the work of my discernment committee, after an interruption in the discernment process allowed me to discern that my call had nothing to do with formalized ministry. (For now at least. Unless I discerned that all wrong.) It doesn't help that most of my significant recent activities run counter to most of what we've been talking about here and on my favourite blogs. (Taking Ruth to band camp and both kids to Mosaic, for example: a lot of pageantry masquerading as culture, and a binge of driving.)

It also doesn't help that a cold has drained me of most of my energy, and the garden is greening up between the lovely little planted things, and even though the blessed rain is keeping me out of the garden most of the time, I am trying to make things better in a vague non-reasoned way by staying away from the computer.

Well, now, I think I'll get ready and walk to church in the rain, and see if I can get in on a carpool to "Women's Day at Camp" tomorrow.


Madcap said...

From what I know of you, the "Violet" description seems pretty apt.

Sounds like all kinds of things are up in the air at your house right now. Even though Chive is more willing to venture down the self-sufficiency, low-consumption path than Garth is presently, I still feel like I'm push-push-pushing a lot of the time. But I'm very concerned about the imminence of a post-oil society, and I'd like to get our family positioned to make it with the least disruption possible. And at the same time, I don't want to strain the relationship... it's hard to keep the balance from tipping either way.

It's been raining here for the best part of a week now! How long has it been wet down your way?

arcolaura said...

It's been alternating between showers and drizzle and just plain grey for several days now, I think, although between my cold and my efforts to establish an "afternoon nap" habit, I haven't kept track of the days all that well.

I think Garth's objection is that there's a choice between self-sufficiency and effectiveness as an agent of change in society. I don't think it's as cut-and-dried, either-or as he paints it. And I also think I've been prone to some arrogance, always trying to fix society, and now I want to focus on fixing myself.

Deb said...

Ouch...on what Garth said. I always find it hard to recover from stuff like that.

I guess I'm kind of in a different place in that for the first time, I think The Hermit and I are sort of on the same wavelength when it comes to self-sufficiency and what we want out of life. It's been a long, twisty road getting there though, on both of our parts.

I took that flower test, but I didn't agree with the results one bit. Maybe I'll try it again.